It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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