Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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