after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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