You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
