her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
