There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
