You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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