So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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