yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
