Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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