I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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