The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
