Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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