1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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