I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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