i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
