well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
