is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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