I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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