you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
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If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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