I'm really into asian looking animals
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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