Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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