butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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