You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
