shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize