Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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