i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
do herpes really smell.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have tasted many bathrooms
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
