I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
