just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
