Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
