I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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