THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
