AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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