we're chasing vodka with high fives
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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