Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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