thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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