Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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