I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
