And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
