I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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