I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
