just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize