So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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