I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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