Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
