Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
