Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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