We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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