literally had 100 drinks last night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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