He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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