Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
