Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize