Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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