yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
