I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
